Amazing Women

I'm pumped right now! The coffee I had earlier is probably partially to blame considering I never drink caffeine but I'm pretty sure I know the real reason I'm excited... I love my job!!! I am part of something so exciting right now and I know that this is where I'm supposed to be at this moment in life. In case you didn't know, I work at a drug and alcohol recovery center that does amazing things for its patients but the most exciting thing right now is the brand new Eating Disorder center we are opening up. Not only is my boss, Becky amazing, one of our clinical consultants is Anita Johnston, author of "Eating in the Light of the Moon" and she has been here the past few days from Hawaii to train the staff for this new unit. We also have two other consultants that have flown in, Amy and Lynn, and they are just as incredible as Anita.

I have always known I wanted to do great things that help others and now I have these incredible women modeling what empowered women can do. My mother is a very talented woman that could do world-changing things with her skills but she lacks the self-confidence to push herself and get over her fears. So I've discovered this internal battle I have that partially tells me "I can't do big things...stick to the simple things." but the other side says, "Look at these women! You are not any different. You don't lack anything they have. Live up to your full potential!"

I don't know if my calling is to work in the Eating Disorder field forever but I know it's needed. There are not many professionals in this area that know how to really treat an ED. These women have been in this field for 15, 20, and 30 years. It's kinda cool to think if I stuck in it and gleaned as much info from them that I could that just a few years down the road I'd have some good experience under my belt. Starting at 24 would give me years to learn about this. That has been one of the most exciting parts of this week, learning, soaking up this information that is so helpful, and true, and applicable not just to EDs but to anyone in life.

Several of the thing that have stuck out to me are the way these women are transparent. They know themselves and are not afraid to admit their weaknesses. In fact, it only makes them stronger when they explain their weak points before someone else can point them out and accuse them that something is wrong. I want to learn to not care so much what other people think of me, always trying to look "good" without being true to myself or others. These women laugh a lot, affirm others, and are confident in their abilities. I admire them so much. The other thing that I've been learning about (which I think it's great to constantly learn new things) is self-awareness: how to be in touch with what your body, emotions, and what your spirit is telling you. How to learn to hear your body's "hunger and full" signals even though they are subtle. How to be aware of habits and addictions that are triggered because of something deeper down you don't want to feel or deal with. It is so important to stay in the "NOW" and not run away from any emotion that comes up. Rumi wrote a poem about the body being a house that is visited by unexpected guests every day. Those guests can be joy, sadness, anxiety, depression, glee, anger, and many others but the important thing is to welcome them all with open arms. Embrace those feelings, explore them because they tell you something about yourself. It is OK to feel. Being conscious of your needs, wants, dreams, and opinions is healthy and it is even more healthy to express them. Co-dependency develops from our family of origin or our past experiences but addictions develop from co-dependency. If we don't find out what makes us happy, how to self soothe, or how to voice our feelings we will be headed down a path that leads to self-destructive behavior.

I'm so excited to be learning all this now, before I'm married, before I have children, and before I pursue that big career. I'm in the process of discovering myself right now. It's not easy but it's exciting and it's worth it.